I called “bullshit” when Shin said he bought all five of my novels in the comments of one of my Facebook posts. So I told Shin, whom I’ve only met once in twelve years, that if he bought all my books, I’d meet him anywhere in Denver and sign them all. He said he was bartending at a Sushi restaurant, and we could hook up there. “Bet!” said I.
On rolling through the door of Sushi Hai, I beheld a swank little restaurant in the capital of Denver's bourgeoisie–The Highlands. I did NOT see a bar.
G.A.: [Stopped in front of the hostess, paralyzed with internal strife] It’s an even more savage burn than I had expected. I’ve been tricked into the old “Meet me at the 9th green at 9 pm” scam!
For those not in the know, it’s the foul prank Shooter McGavin once played on Happy Gilmore. My heart sank.
Evil G.A.: Hahahaha! It’s just like the time that girl stood you up at the Outback Steakhouse. Fool!
Seeing that I was confused and possibly reddening with embarrassment, the hostess engaged me with a cautious smile. I said I was afraid I was in the wrong place and almost didn’t mention Shin’s name, fearing that I would sound like I assumed every Asian in the restaurant business knew every Asian in the restaurant business and their whereabouts. But I asked anyway, my voice quavering as I expected her to apologize and say no. She said yes, then led me through the front dining space, down the stairs to a stunning main dining area, and down another set of stairs into a hidden bar.
The Shinsei waited behind the black granite bartop like a wise master in a booze-stocked hermitage. I was a fortunate pilgrim. The bar was empty except for a long-time patron named Craig and another Sushi Hai crewmember, Mai. So I treated them all to a spewing of my life story since Shin and I had last (and first) met. But, how did we meet?
FLASHBACK 2011: DOWNTOWN DENVER. THE GIN MILL.
It was Taco Tuesday and Karaoke at one of my favorite bars. It was the final semester of my journalism studies. I was set to get my “Big D” (to quote Wet Leg), but I had already resigned myself to continuing on as a salesman at a muffler company. My education was for naught, so I soothed the crushing failure by singing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” I did my best Freddie Mercury–while hammered. Shin, his brother, and Jerimiah Mora were in the audience. They filmed me. I assumed they were a bunch of assholes fixing to make my ridiculous performance go viral. Then, these three dudes did a song and a breakdancing routine in the middle of the crowd. It was damn good and my attitude changed. Were these hip motherfuckers actually giving me props? I sauntered over and exchanged information with them and we became Facebook friends. We never spoke again…
SCENE: SUSHI HAI BAR, 2024
The Shinsei had received my obnoxious entrance like a long-time friend, but my paranoia was still in charge. Why Shin? Why did you, of all people, decide to support this unknown author? Could Shin have joined a religious group and was fishing for new converts? I’ve fallen for that trick. It could be worse. Lord, let Shin NOT be another multi level marketing agent giving me the old ego lubricant. I put on my interrogation hat and pumped him for personal information. Here’s what I learned:
FLASHBACK, 2001: ENTER THE SHINSEI
About the same time the Fresh Prince metamorphosed into Ali, Shin X Huynh’s life was also turned upside down by people starting trouble in the neighborhood. He was a sixteen-year-old B-Boy chasing down a “breezy” or two in Sacramento when his older brother was murdered (RIP Hoa Nguyen). Shin learned that he was being sent to Colorado to live with his uncle on the last day of Hoa’s wake. He left the day after with his surviving brother. No time to say goodbye to his Sacramento friends or those pretty breezys.
Colorado wasn’t exactly a peaceful refuge for Shin. He entered Lincoln High School to find himself in what he thought only happened in Disney movies–a student culture completely segregated by social cliques. Jocks. Punks. Emos. Goths. Nerds. He hung out with the latter, including a girl named Chi, whom he said was pretty popular for a nerd. She made the school’s morning announcements–it doesn’t get much nerdier. Although, his other friend, Mike–the loud nerd–may have won the grand prize. This is all said with love, of course. Shin is still friends with these two.
Mike and Chi were there when what seemed like an innocent joke sent over text led to his being jumped by Vietnamese gang members. NO BULLSHIT. If Colorado wasn’t lame enough compared to California, then being sent to Baton Rouge, Louisiana certainly was. A year in the Deep South was more akin to imprisonment than protection. The Shinsei returned to Colorado ready to endure life on south Federal Blvd—home of “Little Saigon.”
SCENE: SUSHI HAI BAR 2024, UNDER THE GAZE OF THE GOOD FORTUNE CAT.
That was as much backstory as I could pump out of Shin while I went on manic tangents regarding the novels I was signing for him. He asked what order to read them in, and I obliged by making ridiculous quotes in the books using the Sharpies he gave me. This was the first time I’d autographed anything since 2018. I brayed like a separation anxiety-addled Basset hound sprung from the kennel. I did learn a couple more fun facts, though:
Gatorade is now being sold in aluminum cans.
The Craig Method of Drinking: Order only one full beer. Then, have your bartender pour you half-beers from there on. You can confidently tell your wife or friendly cop that you only had one full beer.
There’s a genre of fiction called LitRPG that gets enthusiastic fanship from Mai. Yes, there is a genre of fiction I’ve never heard of that is more popular than the one I write. Shout out to author Matt Dinniman or the Dungeon Crawler Carl series. You’ve got a fan worth visiting at Sushi Hai.
SHIN’S PROFILE:
Shin is a DJ known as SHINSEI. He spins music for the practitioners of hip-hop dance and b-boy stances. He flavors his music with homages to the classic sounds of funk, disco, and soul legends such as James Brown.
There is live music and comedy at Sushi Hai. Check their IG for the details. Shin will be spinning music there soon.
You can watch him talk smack to other gamers on Twitch @Shinsei2d
If he places a complicated take-out order with your restaurant, he will forgive you for forgetting that he wants both grilled AND fried chicken on his salad–but the dressing better be ranch.
Breakdancing, Basketball, Booze, Beats, AND Books. The Shinsei is also a member of a book club he will hopefully sell my filth to. Haha! G.A. is the one running the multilevel marketing scheme!
I can’t speak to his bartending skills in depth. He did pour a good club soda and bitters and didn’t make me feel like a cheapskate. He also followed the Craig method but didn’t charge full price for half-pours. So his fractions are on point, two halves making a whole and such.
EXIT G.A. JOHNSON:
Shin is also the proud owner of the world's greatest Good Fortune Cat, brought to you by KIRIN ICHIBAN beer. I placed his books…written by me…at the hind paws of this beautiful porcelain feline and asked for a blessing. Then, it was time for a cigarette. I exited the backdoor up a steep flight of stairs as Craig departed. I accosted him for his social media handles, but he walked away without answering. I fear my commenting that I didn’t care about The Diary of Anne Frank pushed him too far.
But it’s true. This Way for The Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen by Tadeusz Borowski, is a far superior holocaust memoir. That’s what I was getting at. Anne overshadowed his brilliance with her tragic, hopeful innocence and the fact she wasn’t too controversial for public schools. Borowski gave you the rest of the story. Then, he committed suicide long after leaving the death camp, stricken by survivor guilt.
But I digress. After being shunned by Carl, I returned to The Shinsei’s lair only to be assaulted on the stairs by my constant tormentor–politics.
[CLOSE-UP SHOT. A WHITE PAPER SIGN HANGING ON A RED WALL ABOVE THE STAIRS. THE SIGN SAYS:
EFFECTIVE 07/01/2021
DENVER HAS REQUIRED ALL
RESTAURANTS TO NOT PROVIDE
PLASTICWARE AND UTENSILS FOR
TAKEOUT UNLESS REQUESTED BY
CUSTOMERS. WE APOLOGIZE FOR
THE INCONVIENENCE!
G.A. SHAKES HIS HEAD BEFORE CONTINUING DOWN]
Climate change-conscious voters had chalked up another win for the Pacific Ocean. Denver restaurants saw an opportunity to increase profits by reducing the stock of plastic utensils and blaming the Earth Crusaders for it. The result: folks side hustling in the food delivery game are getting their tips decimated by pissy stay-at-home eaters who forgot to request forks. I can hear the negative reviews along with the other voices in my head.
Even in this swank little Sushi Bar, I was not safe from feeling the vibrations of political tension in the air. I returned to my private autographing session acutely aware that I had no idea what Shin would think of me after reading my work.
EVIL G.A.: You’ll be gutted like a fish when you return next. You’ve got a mouth like a carp and you’re full of shit, too.
G.A.: Silence you evil bastard!
I resisted the invitation to madness. Rather, I decided to soak up the feeling that, indeed, I am a published author. Thank you, Shin.
Look for more tales of The Shinsei in the future. I WILL do my dance when he DJ’s next.
Read my books 👉: https://linktr.ee/gajohnson
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